Funniest Deaths In The Bible

10. A King – 1 Kings 20:35-36

A man who was one of the prophets said to a bystander, "Hit me; wound me. Do it for GOD's sake--it's his command. Hit me; wound me." But the man wouldn't do it. So he told him, "Because you wouldn't obey GOD's orders, as soon as you leave me a lion will attack you." No sooner had the man left his side than a lion met him and attacked.

9. King Herod - Acts 12:21-23

On the day set for their meeting, Herod, robed in pomposity, took his place on the throne and regaled them with a lot of hot air. The people played their part to the hilt and shouted flatteries: "The voice of God! The voice of God!" That was the last straw. God had had enough of Herod's arrogance and sent an angel to strike him down. Herod had given God no credit for anything. Down he went. He was eaten by worms, and then he died.

8. Israelite and Midianite Woman - Numbers 25:6-8

Just then, while everyone was weeping in penitence at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting, an Israelite man, flaunting his behavior in front of Moses and the whole assembly, paraded a Midianite woman into his family tent. Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw what he was doing, grabbed his spear, and followed them into the tent. With one thrust he drove the spear through the two of them, the man of Israel and the woman, right through the mans body and into the woman’s stomach.

7. Some Kids - 2 Kings 2:23-24

Another time, Elisha was on his way to Bethel and some little kids came out from the town and taunted him, "What's up, old baldhead! Out of our way, skinhead!" Elisha turned, took one look at them, and cursed them in the name of GOD. Two bears charged out of the underbrush and knocked them about, ripping them limb from limb--forty-two children in all!

6. Jezebel - 2 Kings 9:33-35

Jehu ordered, "Throw her down!" They threw her out the window. Her blood spattered the wall and the horses, and Jehu trampled her under his horse's hooves. Then Jehu went inside and ate his lunch. During lunch he gave orders, "Take care of that damned woman; give her a decent burial - she is, after all, a king's daughter." They went out to bury her, but there was nothing left of her but skull, feet, and hands. Dogs had eaten the rest of the body.

5. Abimilech - Judges 9:52-54

Abimelech got as far as the tower and assaulted it. He came up to the tower door to set it on fire. Just then some woman dropped an upper millstone on his head and crushed his skull. He called urgently to his young armor-bearer and said, "Draw your sword and kill me so they can't say of me, 'A woman killed him.'" His armor bearer drove in his sword, and Abimelech died.

4. A Concubine -Judges 19:26-29

The woman came back and fell at the door of the house where her master was sleeping. When the sun rose, there she was. It was morning. Her master got up and opened the door to continue his journey. There she was, his concubine, crumpled in a heap at the door, her hands on the threshold. "Get up," he said. "Let's get going." There was no answer. He lifted her onto his donkey and set out for home. When he got home he took a knife and dismembered his concubine - cut her into twelve pieces. He sent her, piece by piece, throughout the country of Israel.

3. Sisera - Judges 4:20-22

Sisera then said to her, "Stand at the tent flap. If anyone comes by and asks you, 'Is there anyone here?' tell him, 'No, not a soul.'" Then while he was fast asleep from exhaustion, Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg and hammer, tiptoed toward him, and drove the tent peg through his temple and all the way into the ground. He convulsed and died. Barak arrived in pursuit of Sisera. Jael went out to greet him. She said, "Come, I'll show you the man you're looking for." He went with her and there he was--Sisera, stretched out, dead, with a tent peg through his head

2. Elgon - Judges 3:20-22

Ehud approached him - the king was now quite alone in his cool rooftop room--and said, "I have a word of God for you." Eglon stood up from his throne. Ehud reached with his left hand and took his sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's big belly. The sword went so deep that the handle disappeared beneath the king's fat. The fat closed over it so Ehud could not pull out the sword, and the king's bowels emptied.

1. Jehoram - 2 Chronicles 21:18-19

The LORD struck Jehoram with the severe intestinal disease, a terrible and fatal disease in his colon The disease grew worse and worse, and at the end of two years he was totally incontinent. It caused his bowels to come out, and he died in agony, writhing in pain.