Samson & Delilah Sketch Video

In our sunday school we finished our series on David last week. With us due to start some time looking at the book of Acts next week, I had a somewhat inspired idea... to do a one off special looking at the story of Samson & Delilah. But with a difference!

I won't give it away, but you can watch the video of the morning here. Look out for the undiscovered talent that is the Philistine soldier...



There is also a video of behind the scenes work...



And yes, this is a typical Sunday morning for us!

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Listening to: Stealers Wheel - Stuck In The Middle With You
via FoxyTunes

Go Wayne Grudem - Video Tribute

I came across this video tribute to one of my favourite theologians, in the style of Grease MegaMix. It is touched with a peculiar brand of genius - enjoy!

Imminent World Domination

Right, I have tired of the normal blogging escapades of diarising, poetry, musings and ponderings. So I throwing down a challenge to you all. World domination!

Yes, thats right. I have stumbled on something that will tickle all of our would be dictatorial leanings, right here at nationstates. Its totally free and simple to play.

Basically, you invent a country. Call it what you will, use your own flag, your own currency and your own national animal. Then decide your policies on various issues. All with an extreme humorous bent of course. Then watch your country flourish! My country is here, take a browse then yield to the temptation and create your own!

Each day you get new issues, which affect how your country develops as it grows in population. We'll be able to see who is well balanced among us all, and what would be dark horses have bizarre tyrannical leanings *coughs Margo*.

But thats not all. I've made a little region as well, exclusively to us, which you can move your newly created nation into. That way, there is a forum where we can abuse each other (even more), private messages (yet another tool of abuse), compare nations and generally laugh at Helen. The region is called the Subcontinent Of Glee and is open for all of you to join. I can talk you through how to join that if you like.

Anyhow, hope to see you there! And yes, I've been bored today!

Funniest Deaths In The Bible

10. A King – 1 Kings 20:35-36

A man who was one of the prophets said to a bystander, "Hit me; wound me. Do it for GOD's sake--it's his command. Hit me; wound me." But the man wouldn't do it. So he told him, "Because you wouldn't obey GOD's orders, as soon as you leave me a lion will attack you." No sooner had the man left his side than a lion met him and attacked.

9. King Herod - Acts 12:21-23

On the day set for their meeting, Herod, robed in pomposity, took his place on the throne and regaled them with a lot of hot air. The people played their part to the hilt and shouted flatteries: "The voice of God! The voice of God!" That was the last straw. God had had enough of Herod's arrogance and sent an angel to strike him down. Herod had given God no credit for anything. Down he went. He was eaten by worms, and then he died.

8. Israelite and Midianite Woman - Numbers 25:6-8

Just then, while everyone was weeping in penitence at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting, an Israelite man, flaunting his behavior in front of Moses and the whole assembly, paraded a Midianite woman into his family tent. Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw what he was doing, grabbed his spear, and followed them into the tent. With one thrust he drove the spear through the two of them, the man of Israel and the woman, right through the mans body and into the woman’s stomach.

7. Some Kids - 2 Kings 2:23-24

Another time, Elisha was on his way to Bethel and some little kids came out from the town and taunted him, "What's up, old baldhead! Out of our way, skinhead!" Elisha turned, took one look at them, and cursed them in the name of GOD. Two bears charged out of the underbrush and knocked them about, ripping them limb from limb--forty-two children in all!

6. Jezebel - 2 Kings 9:33-35

Jehu ordered, "Throw her down!" They threw her out the window. Her blood spattered the wall and the horses, and Jehu trampled her under his horse's hooves. Then Jehu went inside and ate his lunch. During lunch he gave orders, "Take care of that damned woman; give her a decent burial - she is, after all, a king's daughter." They went out to bury her, but there was nothing left of her but skull, feet, and hands. Dogs had eaten the rest of the body.

5. Abimilech - Judges 9:52-54

Abimelech got as far as the tower and assaulted it. He came up to the tower door to set it on fire. Just then some woman dropped an upper millstone on his head and crushed his skull. He called urgently to his young armor-bearer and said, "Draw your sword and kill me so they can't say of me, 'A woman killed him.'" His armor bearer drove in his sword, and Abimelech died.

4. A Concubine -Judges 19:26-29

The woman came back and fell at the door of the house where her master was sleeping. When the sun rose, there she was. It was morning. Her master got up and opened the door to continue his journey. There she was, his concubine, crumpled in a heap at the door, her hands on the threshold. "Get up," he said. "Let's get going." There was no answer. He lifted her onto his donkey and set out for home. When he got home he took a knife and dismembered his concubine - cut her into twelve pieces. He sent her, piece by piece, throughout the country of Israel.

3. Sisera - Judges 4:20-22

Sisera then said to her, "Stand at the tent flap. If anyone comes by and asks you, 'Is there anyone here?' tell him, 'No, not a soul.'" Then while he was fast asleep from exhaustion, Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg and hammer, tiptoed toward him, and drove the tent peg through his temple and all the way into the ground. He convulsed and died. Barak arrived in pursuit of Sisera. Jael went out to greet him. She said, "Come, I'll show you the man you're looking for." He went with her and there he was--Sisera, stretched out, dead, with a tent peg through his head

2. Elgon - Judges 3:20-22

Ehud approached him - the king was now quite alone in his cool rooftop room--and said, "I have a word of God for you." Eglon stood up from his throne. Ehud reached with his left hand and took his sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's big belly. The sword went so deep that the handle disappeared beneath the king's fat. The fat closed over it so Ehud could not pull out the sword, and the king's bowels emptied.

1. Jehoram - 2 Chronicles 21:18-19

The LORD struck Jehoram with the severe intestinal disease, a terrible and fatal disease in his colon The disease grew worse and worse, and at the end of two years he was totally incontinent. It caused his bowels to come out, and he died in agony, writhing in pain.

Praise God For Plants

The most important thing to be done today? Get some milk. I’ve run out, and only have cereal in my house. Which is fine as I love cereal and have a constant craving for various honey/nut cereals, as my shopping bills illustrate. But my cereal craving is not so overpowering that I consume them dry and unmilked. That’s just savage.

Following my psycho sabbath, I decided to take it easy today. I had a lunchtime appointment, so spent the morning in my bed watching Never Mind The Buzzcocks episodes on YouTube. Without a doubt, I have a man-crush on Simon Amstell. His crazy permed thatch, his geeky dress sense, his twinkly eyes and cheeky smile, his rapier wit... man, I love that guy.

After watching Amstell systematically destroy various b-list celebrity guests on his show, I went to a friends for lunch. We sat in his garden, which is beautiful, and chewed the fat. Not literally you understand, as we had salad for lunch.

I was reminded of all the things I used to enjoy as a kid when it comes to salad. I’m a committed carnivore, but the lure of chlorophyll cuisine proved too strong. Marge Simpson once said 'fruit and veg are natures candy' and it proved to be true. Beetroot, coleslaw, couscous, hummus, lettuce, cherry tomatoes... the only slight disappointment was a lack of pickled onions. There was ham, but dirty porcine cuts aren't my favourite meat. And cheese, french bread and Branston Pickle - three components parts of the sum of all existence. To top it all off, REAL butter! Not margarine, not spread, not some yellow filth but real, creamy, smooth butter.

I came home from my friends about half four, and checked in with my office. Apparently I was a popular boy today and people missed me. HA! I returned some calls of said visitors (well, the visitors I would have been pleased to see) and had a long discussion which can be summed up in two words: politics.

I’ve worked out how to convert file types without downloading software. So any word documents I’ve used can be changed to the more secure PDFs. also, Youtube videos can be changed into mp3's if they are songs. Great for getting hold of live, acoustic and cover versions of songs. Check out zamzar.com and have a play.

My evening consisted of our monthly football committee meeting. I am the secretary, which means that I have to somehow document the discussions. Which can only be compared to having my hands inside oven gloves, which are covered liberally by cooking oil. And then being asked to tie up my shoelaces. My dear readers, the shoelaces defeat me as they are, let alone with further obstacles placed in the way. Praise God for Velcro.

The meeting was a mobius loop of monotony, discussing the same issues again and again. Without any resolution. Or fresh suggestion. And it was the same conversation last month. And the month before that. In fact, at many points during the evening I was looking at ways of ending my perpetual misery. I think I’ve invented a way to commit hari-kari with a paper napkin. Slicing between the fingers and toes is the key, if you're interested.

And I forgot to get the damn milk.